1. The back side of a woman with long, straight-as-a-stick brown hair and shapely shoulders, wearing a gold halter top, tight jeans and white stilettos. When she turned around, I became very aware that that she was not born a woman. I debated on telling her that all that heavy makeup, while good for covering a five-o’-clock shadow, would ruin her complexion and that her jeans were fabulous. I decided she probably knew both of those things.
2. Drawings done by a very sincere man in a suit and hat, sitting cross-legged on a bench with a large sketch pad, a full box of colored pencils and an impressive set of oil paints at his side. He crafts his art slowly, dipping his brushes into a Mason jar of water and gazing into the ether for inspiration. The fact that these drawings are rather wobbly, childlike renderings of Mickey Mouse, flying unicorns and a bewildered looking Jesus sitting atop a grassy knoll are of no consequence to a serious artist.
3. A preacher in front of the courthouse, sermonizing on the End Times, Bible in hand. He had a captive audience of three pigeons, two old, grizzled black men and the hotdog vendor. The doomed souls that passed by him and into the building behind him were on their way to spend an eternity in Hell, otherwise known as traffic court.
4. Many, many inebriated people.
5. A man stretching out for the evening in a large, polished granite planter belonging to a prestigous law office. The receptionist, seated at a gleaming mahogany desk inside the firm’s glass doors, saw this homeless man making his bed among her employer’s orange and yellow mums…and waved to him.
You can’t make this stuff up, people.