Holy cow, you guys!  People, like non-family, non-friend, non-Katie-knowing people, are commenting on Evie’s blog!  World domination cannot be far behind!

Seriously, I know that this is how the whole blog thing works (Not stupid! Not!), but still.  I am so excited and honored, if it’s not too dorky to say that.  The Internet is so…weird.  I mean, if you could see the blog stats (which you can’t because Iam The Evie Standard’s overlord, not you!), you would know that over 600 people have viewed this blog.  That blows my simple, country girl’s mind, y’all.  I mean, great blogs of fire, that’s a lot of people.

Anyway.  I’ll stop geeking out now. (But — Yay!)

So, if you’re a fan of long-winded, defensive manifestos that just go on and on about stuff you really could give two poots about, see your local paper’s Op/Ed page.  Or last week’s post.  That was crazy-long, right?This week, I’m giving my tired fingers a break before they mutiny.

Instead, I’m offering up someone else’s writing here.  Go ahead and take a look.  I’ll wait.

Interesting, no?  Too many ads on the page, I know.  Sorry about that.  But, check it out — I’m an Alpha Mom!  I’m officially in a category and all labeled, pigeon-holed and stereotyped!  Yay!  This only ups my status as the ultimate consumer, y’all.  Although, I don’t know about the tech savvy part.  I still haven’t gotten this fancy “texting” down.  Let’s hope I never have to text in an emergency, is all I’m saying.

But, I do research everything, nay, EVERYTHING, on the Internets.  Yes, the “system of tubes”, she done right by me.  For example, I scour reviews of baby products, beauty products, housewares…and sometimes I read reviews of products I don’t even want, just for the hell of it!  Just kidding.  But, not.  I’ve also written quite a few reviews myself.

Now, if I could just get you people to bend to my will and buy what I buy, I would truly achieve Alpha Mom status.  Bend, I say!

Also, as the article sort of hints at, I don’t want to lose my own identity as I bumble my way through parenthood.   I am Mommy, who doesn’t mind kissing a drool-covered mouth and writes “Poop!” on her calendar to keep track of Evie’s BM’s (thaaaat’s right).  But I am also Katie, who has ten non-baby wish lists on Amazon, is on the neverending quest for the perfect, really-cold-but-not-quite-frozen beer and hearts Sephora.  And I think the two can co-exist peacefully.  They can probably even be mutually beneficial.

So, call me, Procter & Gamble! Ford! Fisher Price!  I have been waiting for you, lover!  Let me try your products and write steamy love letters reviews for you!

Coming soon:  Photo essay with Evie as the subject, because I think this blog’s supposed to be about someone other than me, right?

P.S.  I am a lioness, and it’s about time someone recognized it! (see comment section on last post)

Advertisements